Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
