I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
