Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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