Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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