I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
