He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
