I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sober January is a disaster.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
