He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
