Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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