I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
