it wasn't lemon gatorade
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I touched a dick in church today
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