Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You have to summon your inner elephant
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
