Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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