ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
