Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
