I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
