My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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