why didn't you poke me back
apparently the secret to your success is patron
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
