I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
me + whiskey = a bad person
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
