Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm passing your future prison.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
