Don't make out with my wife yet
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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