we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
