The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
