youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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