Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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