You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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