Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
