So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
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All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
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Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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