This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
