I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
