the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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