Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Even my vagina gasped.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
