Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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