I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
