Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
