Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize