i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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