we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
