I CAN MOONWALK!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
