Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
