You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize