Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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