I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
