how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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