i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
