they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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