I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
