I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
