She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Even the bartender felt bad for me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
