your thong is hanging out like whoa
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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