Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
