i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
