So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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