Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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