What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
